Whatever jokes

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stand-up gandhi
A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization.
'I think it would be a good idea.'
what's it doing in the tree?
What's white and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you?

A fridge!
what do you need so much milk for ma'am?
A milkman was delivering on his round when he came to an order which said, "45 pints of milk."

Puzzled, the milkman decided to ask the person weather or not he/she had made a mistake. When he knocked on the door, a woman came out with just a bath towel around her.

The milkman asked her if she had made a mistake but sure enough she wanted 45 pints. "Milk baths are good for your skin," explained the woman.

"Oh, okay," said the milkman. "Do you want it pasturised then?"

"No," said the woman. "Up to my tits will be fine."

one-handed man crossing
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop.

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