Whatever jokes

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how annoy your roommate
tantly and talk and laugh with them.

3. When he/she says, "Is it hot out?" Look puzzled and put on your winter jacket.

4. Pick up the phone even when it is not ringing.

5. Stare at the mirror and start laughing at it. Hey, laugh really hard ok?

6.Talk to the goldfish about fat cats lurking around. Then laugh aloud, happy that you have scared it.

7. Pretend to be angry and bang the table hard AND loud. Later apologise for the hurt and grief caused to the table. Be sincere and write a letter of apology to the table.

8. Ask him/her the time constantly. Every 5 minutes. All night too.

9. Roll around the room and behave like a cat. Lick yourself and scratch the floor. Play with a ball of yarn and eat only fish. Meow loudly at him/her when he/she talks to you.

10. Buy underpants for him/her and say, "Now we can share!"

a little lysdexic humor
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

gay men & light bulb
Q: How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One to screw it in and four to stand back and say, “That looks faabulous.”
speed trap
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.

He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police department that contained another picture - of handcuffs.

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