 |
|
|
|
|
 | ||||
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She says, 'You should have dropped your pants -- you might have qualified for disability, too.'
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
He said, 'I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear...'
'But how the heck did you burn the other ear?' The doctor asked.
'They called back.'
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
"How's it going?" the doctor asked him.
"Great," he replied. "I haven't had a butt in weeks."
Page 374 of 497 «« Previous | Next »»