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geometry
 
 
Teacher: John, give me a sentence using the word, "geometry."

John: Okay, there once was this little acorn. Then it grew and grew and woke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'
top 13 never heard at daytona 500
 
 

13> "None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."

12> "Tampax! Get your Tampax here!"

11> "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race!"

10> "Sex with your sister!? Man, that's sick."

9> "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"

8> "Hey, you with the large breasts — out of the way! We're trying to watch a race here!"

7> "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attaché case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone."

6> "What a coincidence, Hank — all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"

5> "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"

4> "Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."

3> "Whew! No more beer for me, fellas..."

2> "Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."

1> "...and now, singing our national anthem — international recording artist Boy George!"

peanuts! getcher peanuts here!
 
 
Two peanuts were walking down the street.

One was assaulted.

redneck recycling
 
 
Q: What do Rednecks call four empty Cool Whip containers on a table?

A: Salad bowls


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