Whatever jokes

13> "None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."

12> "Tampax! Get your Tampax here!"

11> "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race!"

10> "Sex with your sister!? Man, that's sick."

9> "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"

8> "Hey, you with the large breasts — out of the way! We're trying to watch a race here!"

7> "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attaché case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone."

6> "What a coincidence, Hank — all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"

5> "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"

4> "Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."

3> "Whew! No more beer for me, fellas..."

2> "Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."

1> "...and now, singing our national anthem — international recording artist Boy George!"

One was assaulted.

The man is shocked. He asks the doctor, "Is there is any thing that he could do to make the time that I have left more tolerable?"

The doctor thinks for a moment. "There is one thing that you could do".

"Just name it, I'll do whatever it is". He tells the man to take alot of mud baths, two or three a day.

The man looks at his doctor asks, "Will that help my condition"?

The doctor says, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."

A.If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand!