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genie-us
 
 
A young man fell in a pit one day and found a magic lamp with a genie inside.The genie told him he would grant him three wishes. The man's first wish was to get out of the pit.

**POOF**

He then wished for all the gold in the world.

**POOF**

The man could not think of anything for his third wish so he bought a Ferrari with some of his gold. As he was driving in his new car, he turned on the radio began to sing along with his favorite advertising jingle: 'Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener...'

**POOF**

top ten reasons for being english
 
 
1. Two World Wars and one World Cup
2. Proper beer
3. You can confuse everyone with the rules for cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously
5. Union Jack Underpants
6. You can live in the past and imagine that you're still a world power
7. You can bathe once a week whether you need to or not
8. You can change your underwear once a week whether you need to or not
9. Beats being Scottish
10. Beats being Welsh
birds fly upside down over iowa
 
 
Why do birds fly upside down over Iowa?

Because it ain't worth a crap.

buried at sea
 
 
This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons... Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."

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