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a drunken leprechaun
 
 
A drunk leprechaun was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.

"Please God", he implored, "let it be blood!"

the president sucks
 
 
President Bush wakes up one morning, looks out of the White House window and sees "The President Sucks" written in the snow in urine. Furious, he calls in the FBI and demands the perpetrators be found. Later that day the FBI agents return.

"Well sir," says the first agent, "the urine has been analysed and it's the Vice President's". Bush goes purple with rage and shouts, "Is that all?"

"Well no sir," says the agent, "It's the First Lady's handwriting."

little leprechaun?
 
 
A leprechaun walks into a bar, and he see's a sign that says: "Win a pot of gold if you can make the donkey laugh."

The leprechaun decided to go for it, and he succeed in making the donkey laugh. So he goes to the bartender and asks for his pot of gold. The bartender says, "Ok, but first you have to tell us how you did it."

The leprechaun says, "I can't tell you, it's a leprechaun secret."

So the bartender says, "Then I can't give you the pot of gold." The leprechaun gets very angry and walks off.

He comes back the next day and sees a sign that says: "Win a pot of gold if you can make the donkey cry." So he trys it, and he makes the donkey cry.

He goes up to the bartender and asks for his pot of gold. But the bar attendant tells him, "First you have to tell me how you did it.

So the leprechaun says, "Alright, yesterday I told him I told him that I have a bigger penis then him, and today I showed him."

it's what's for dinner
 
 
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.


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