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late garbage
 
 
One day, a woman comes out with a bunch of trash just as the garbage truck is about to pull away.

"Am I too late for the garbage?" she asks.

"No, ma'am," says the garbageman. "Hop right in!"

teachers change a light bulb
 
 
How many teachers does it take to change a light bulb ?

Well, teachers don't change light bulbs but they can help make a dim one brighter!
engineers and a glass of water
 
 
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

aye, aye, captain!
 
 
There once was a captain of a ship, and everyday at a certain time he would lock himself up in his cabin and look inside a mysterious black box. He did this everyday, but he told nobody what was inside the box. Then one day he died, and in his testament he gave the crew permission to open the box. So they opened the black box. And what they found was a piece of paper:
'Starboard is right, port is left.'

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