Whatever jokes

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bite your tongue
What's one thing you don't tell to a vampire?

Bite me.
late garbage
One day, a woman comes out with a bunch of trash just as the garbage truck is about to pull away.

"Am I too late for the garbage?" she asks.

"No, ma'am," says the garbageman. "Hop right in!"

teachers change a light bulb
How many teachers does it take to change a light bulb ?

Well, teachers don't change light bulbs but they can help make a dim one brighter!
engineers and a glass of water
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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