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the story of hanukkah
 
 
Stan and John are walking to school one day and Stan is describing his new Playstation 2 to John. "Where did you get that?" John asked "I got it last night for Hanukkah," said Stan. "What's Hanukkah?" John asked.

"It's the Jewish holiday where we get presents every night for eight nights to celebrate the festival of lights."

"Wow, I wish we got that!" John exclaimed. The next day on the way to school John runs up to Stan, curious to see what he got. He sees that Stan is upset, "What's wrong? Where's your present from last night?" asks John.

Stan holds up a ball of crumpled wrapping paper, "It was leftovers night."

how many hipsters does it take...
 
 
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: What? You don't know?
do you know a good veterination?
 
 
Guy: Do you know a good veterination? Girl: No, why? Guy: I've got sick pythons.
yo mama
 
 
Yo mama's so lactose intolerant, human kindness makes her throw up!

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