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The first nun says "I want to be Bo Derek," and POOF she's gone.
The second says "I want to be Madonna," and POOF she's gone.
The third says "I want to be Virginia Pepalini.".
St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Virginia Pepalini" replies the nun.
St Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell.
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says "No Sister, this says the Virginia Pipeline was laid by 500 men in 7 days!".
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"Are you crazy?" says the husband, who pulls her over to a mirror. "Let me show you something? This twenty-dollar bill is mine. The one in the mirror is yours. Get it?" The wife nods. The next day, the husband returns home to find a freezer full of meat. Angry, he asks his wife about it. She pulls him over to the mirror and lifts up her skirt.
"See the one in the mirror? That's yours. This one is the butcher's."
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There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died. What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket.
They put his left leg in....
Well, you know the rest.
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"Ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
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