Whatever jokes

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hard sleepin'
 
 
If a light sleeper can't sleep with a light on, can a hard sleeper sleep with a hard on?
fresh meat
 
 
One day, a wife goes up to her husband and asks for twenty dollars to buy meat.
"Are you crazy?" says the husband, who pulls her over to a mirror. "Let me show you something? This twenty-dollar bill is mine. The one in the mirror is yours. Get it?" The wife nods. The next day, the husband returns home to find a freezer full of meat. Angry, he asks his wife about it. She pulls him over to the mirror and lifts up her skirt.
"See the one in the mirror? That's yours. This one is the butcher's."
i guess that's fair
 
 
Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."

"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"

"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."

The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"

party!
 
 
Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone?

Answer: No!

Response: Wanna go to a party?


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