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george and harry's european vacation
 
 
Two friends, named Harry and George, go on a trip to Europe, where they have a great time. When they get back, Harry meets up with his pal Phil to tell him all about it.

"One of the first places we went to was the leaning tower of Pisa. It was really neat."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. That was really neat."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit Big Ben in London."

"Cool. Did you go up inside it?"

"No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did attend mass at the Vatican."

"Really? What happened?"

"Well, the Pope made the sign of the cross, and George dropped his right crutch, and he dropped his left crutch."

"Cool. What happened then?"

"George fell on his ass. He's a cripple, you know."

coin riddle
 
 
There are two coins that add up to $0.30, one is not a nickel. What are they?

A quarter and a nickel. The quarter isn't a nickel.
why did the zombie baby cross the road?
 
 
Why did the zombie baby cross the road?

To wreak an unholy vengeance upon the driver of the car who's standing there, scratching his head, trying to figure out how a zombie baby's head can be beneath his car tires but the rest of the body is nowhere to be seen-- unless he were to turn around and notice the zombie baby body bearing down on him, coming ever closer, ready with grasping, pudgy zombie baby fingers to tear and rend at the flesh of this self-same driver who ran his head over, on the dark and rain-swept road that snakes down from the castle of the madman who's creating an army of zombie babies to do his dark, libidinal bidding.

big pink gorilla
 
 
One day in the middle of the desert a man's car breaks down. He remembers seeing a gas station near by, so he decides tp push his car. The man finally gets to the gas station and has the car fixed. Tired, the man asks the mechanic, "Hey, where is the nearest hotel?"

The mechanic replies, "No hotel here, but about 100 miles down the road you'll see there's a room under the cactus there. But what ever you do don't touch the big pink gorilla."

The man drives to the cactus. He opens a door and shuts it behind him, finds another door and shuts it behind him, then he finds a third door and shuts it behind him.

Lo and behold he sees a big pink gorilla in the room. The gorilla is docile and looks so cute and soft he's dying to touch it. He can't help himself. He walks over to the cage and starts trying to touch him through the bars.

As soon as the man lays a finger on him, the big pink gorilla freaks out. He beats his chest and rips his cage door clean off.

The man runs for his life. He opens the first door, slams it behind him. Opens the second door, slams it behind him. The man hear a crash as he opens the third door and slams it behind him.

The man hears a roar. He runs to the car, opens the door and shuts it. He locks all the doors and starts the car, as he sees the big pink gorilla racing towards him.

The big pink gorilla rips the car door off his car.The man thinks he's going to faint.

The gorilla pokes the guy and says, "Tag you're it!"


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