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born loser defined
Definition of a born loser: a stowaway on a kamikaze plane.
confucius pocket talk
Confucius says, 'Man with hole in his pocket feels cocky all day."
ultimate lightbulb joke
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. What are you, stupid?
the birds, the bees, the bushettes
Ever since the Bush daughters got into trouble with the law for underage drinking, the President has lectured them constantly about the evils of alcohol. His daughters were tired of having the same conversation week after week, so they finally said, "Okay daddy, we understand about drinking already, but you've never talked about to us about sex."

Getting very upset, W. chided the twins: "Young ladies, we do not use that dirty four-letter word in our home!"

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