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blonde loses sweet job
 
 
Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the M&M factory?

She threw away all the "W&W's"

if i had a hammer
 
 
A man is in court for murder and the judge says, 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.'

Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'You bastard.'

The judge continues, 'You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer.'

Again the voice at the back of the court says, 'You bastard.'

The judge says, 'Now, we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt! What is the problem?'

The man at the back of the court says, 'Fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!'
two drivers and a bridge
 
 
Two drivers came to a bridge over which only one car could cross at a time. One driver leaned out his window and said to the other, 'I never back up for idiots.' So the other driver put his car in reverse and said, 'That's okay. I do.'
knock, knock... polar
 
 
Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Polar.

Polar who?

Polar pants down!

Great. Now I feel stupid.

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