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jamaician proctologist
 
 
What do you call a Jamaician Proctologist?

Pokemon.

string in the pants = clean hands
 
 
A man went to a cafe and ordered some soup. Half way through, he dropped his spoon .When the waiter came around to see if everything was ok, the man told him he needed a new spoon. So the waiter pulled one out if his pouch. The man asked, "I was just wondering, why do you keep spoons in your pouch?"

The waiter answered, "To save time."

So the man went on eating his soup. After about 15 minutes, the waiter came by to see if everything was ok. The man said everything was delicious. He noticed that a string was hanging out of the waiters pants, so he asked, "I was just wondering, why do you have a string hanging out of your zipper?"

The waiter answered, "It saves time so that we don't have to wash our hands."

Then the man asked, "But don't you have to touch the doorknob to the bathroom?"
The waiter said, "I dont know about the other guys, but I just use the spoon ."

flat chance
 
 
You are so flat, you're a pirate's dream.

He can't wait to get his hands on a sunken chest!

carefully placed periods
 
 
There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video. He found it to be a great but complicated job.
One day he was at the register and a older man came in and asked if he could buy a phone card. So the guy gave him a card, and he wrote him a check for $39.80. He then told him that it was 20 cents short, so he gave him 2 dimes.

Unfortunitely when he typed this into the computer, he missed the period on the keyboard and it came up as 20 dollars.

That night, the manager said that he was $19.80 short. The manager thought the guy had stolen it, so he fired him immediately.

And the moral to this story is:
"Guys get in trouble over missed periods."


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