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viagra + eyedrops = ?
 
 
Why'd the man take Viagra eyedrops?

Because he wanted to look hard!

student takes off his pants
 
 
A student is taking his final exams. He takes his seat in the exam hall, stares at the questions and then in a fit for inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his shirt, pants and socks.

The teacher, alarmed, approached him and asked what is going on?

"I am only following the instructions -- the test paper states, answer the questions in brief.'

pig farmer
 
 
A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig. When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig. The pig farmer put the pig's tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down. He then told the city slicker that the pig was too heavy -- it was 30 pounds. The city slicker told the farmer he didn't believe that was the way to weigh pigs. The farmer called his son over and asked him to weigh the pig. The son put the pig's tail in his mouth, bobbed his head a couple of times and said the pig weighed 30 pounds. The city slicker said the farmer and his son were putting him on. The farmer told his son to go get his mother and have her come out and weigh the pig. The son went into the house and after a few minutes came out again.

"Mom's weighing the mailman."

two drivers and a bridge
 
 
Two drivers came to a bridge over which only one car could cross at a time. One driver leaned out his window and said to the other, 'I never back up for idiots.' So the other driver put his car in reverse and said, 'That's okay. I do.'

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