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elephant innuendo
 
 
Why does an elephant have four feet?

Because in the animal kingdom six inches just doesn't cut it.

military secrets
 
 
Q. What does marine stand for?

A. My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.

logical nun
 
 
A nun was telling some other nuns about how she was almost attacked by a man the night before. They all wanted to know how she managed to escape. 'It was easy,' she said, 'I stopped and pulled my dress up.'

Shocked, the other nuns said, 'And then what?!'

'He pulled his pants down,' the nun replied.

'And then what?!' cried the unbelieving nuns.

'And then I ran,' she said. 'After all, a nun with her dress up can run much faster than a man with his pants down.'

essential desert objects
 
 

A judge was punishing three men because they had committed a crime. Their sentence was a few years in the desert. He said that they could each take one thing with them.

The first guy decides to take an umbrella, so that he can have shade whenever he wants.

The second guy decides to take a water bottle so that he won't get thirsty.

Finally, the third guy decides to take a car door.

The judge asked, "Why in the world would you want to take a car door?" The man replies, "Just in case it gets hot, I can roll down the window."


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