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bill gates, super ego
 
 
One day, Saint Peter called up to Heaven Bill Clinton, Colin Powell, and Bill Gates. He said to them, 'I've called you here because you are the 3 most influential spokepersons in the world. Go back to Earth and tell everyone there is a God, but he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

So, Bill Clinton went back and said, 'Fellow Americans, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is there is a God, and the bad news is he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

Colin Powell went back and said, 'I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is there is a God and the good news is he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

Then, Bill Gates went down, gathered up all his computer buddies on the Internet and said, ' I have some good news. The first part of the good news is I've been voted one of the 3 most influential spokespersons in the world. The other good news is the Y2K problem is solved.'

brooms & carrotsticks
 
 
Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line. When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns. The man issuing rifles gave him a broom
'This is a magic broom -- point it at anybody, say 'Bangity bangity bang,' and they will die.' Bob was really worried because he didn't think it would work, but he got in line for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob's turn came and they had ran out.
'Don't worry.' said the man issuing them out. 'I will give you this magic carrot -- point it at somebody, say 'Stabbity stabbity stab,' and they will die." Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling invasion. Bob goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One enemy even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him. Well, Bob didn't have anything to lose so he pointed at him and said 'Bangity bangity bang!' and the guy fell down dead. He did the same thing with the magic carrot. Amazed at what was happening, he continued to fight. Then, a guy came slowly up to him and he would not die. Bob tried to shoot and stab him, but he wouldn't die. The last words poor Bob heard as he was being trampled over were 'Tankity tankity tank.'
clock joke
 
 
Why shouldn't you tell a secret around a clock?

Because time will tell.
let them eat homework
 
 
Why'd the boy eat his homework?

His teacher told him it was a piece of cake!


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