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green rock
 
 
What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red sea?

It gets wet.

the world accordion to garp
 
 
There is a accordion player driving home from a late night gig. Feeling tired, he pulls into a local store for some coffee. While waiting to pay, he remembers that he locked his car doors but left the accordion in plain view on the back seat of his car! He rushes out only to realize that he is too late. The back window of his car was smashed and somebody had already thrown in two more accordions.
recruiting for a new pope
 
 
Since Pope John Paul is getting up in age the Vatican has started an early campaign to 'recruit' a successor. They have interviewed many applicants and after many months of interviewing they have narrowed the search to TWO final candidates: Bishop McLaughlin from Dublin Ireland and Bishop Sicola from New York. They are both very good candidates. The Vatican selection committee finally settled on Bishop Sicola. Though after much debate they changed their minds and said that Bishop Sicola would NOT be a good choice because it wouldn't seem proper to address the new pontiff as 'pope-si-cola.'
that's not the pope's line of work, fool
 
 
There was an old woman on a plane, sitting next to the Pope. It was stormy outside, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence.
So this kindly old lady looked upon Death's door, and said to her papal neighbor, "Father, surely you can do something about this.."'

To which the Pope replied, "Sorry lady, I'm in sales, not management."


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