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priests and christmas trees
 
 
What do Christmas trees and priests have in common?

Their balls are just for decoration!

yo mama
 
 
Yo mama's so lactose intolerant, human kindness makes her throw up!
get on the bus
 
 
A man comes home from work and finds his wife screwing his cousin in the closet.
'What the hell are you doing?!' the man asks.
'I'm riding a bus,' his cousin replies.
'That's a stupid thing to say!'
'That's a stupid thing to ask!'
spring of 1957
 
 
It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby, a pretty hip guy with his own car, goes to pick up his date. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. “Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?” he says. “That's cool,” says Bobby.
Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie's father responds, “Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.” Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's dad to repeat it. “Oh yeah,' says Carrie's father, 'our Carrie really loves to screw. She'd screw all night if we'd let her!”
Well, this makes Bobby's eyes light up, and his plan for the evening is beginning to look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.
About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her father: “Damn it, Daddy! It's called the twist!”

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