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can you believe how many award shows there are....
 
 
Can you believe how many award shows they have now? They have awards for commercials, "The Cleo Awards". It's a whole show full of commercials.

I taped it and then I fast-forwarded through the whole thing.

whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
 
 
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

why i am so tired
 
 
For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.

The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.

Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.

This leaves 19 million to do the work.

Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.

There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me . . . and you're sitting there reading jokes.

guy from west virginia
 
 
What do you call a guy from West Virginia who has no sisters?

A Virgin.

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