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Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff about the cook, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse 'til finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom.
Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end and this made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened and as he undid his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees. As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard her president whisper in a barely audible voice, sack my cook.
And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.
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The next morning the headline in the newspaper was: 'Waiter killed by torpedos.'
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After 24 hours, the priest calls the nuns back in and asks what they did. The first nun says, 'I had sex with two men at one time.'
The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.' The second nun tells the priest, 'I robbed a bank for $25,000.'
The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.'
The third nun tells the priest, 'I killed a woman that I have wanted dead all my life.'
The priest says, 'Quickly drink the holy water and God will forgive you.'
The priest said to the fourth nun, 'Okay, what sin did you commit.'
The fourth nun says, 'I pissed in the holy water.'
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