Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 208

Whatever


your dad's like cement
 
 
You dad's like cement, it takes him two days to get hard!
knock, knock... katmandu who?
 
 
Knock knock

Who's there?

Katmandu

Katmandu who?

Katmandu what Catwoman wants!

microsoft darkness
 
 
How many Microsoft technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they would just declare darkness the new standard TM

squawks
 
 
Squawks are problems left behind by airplane pilots that are checked for each night. These problems are always solved before the next flight. Here are some actual problems (P) and their solutions (S).

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. (S) Left inside main tire almost replaced.

(P) Test flight OK, except Auto Land very rough. (S) Auto Land not installed on this aircraft.

(P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid. (S) #2 propeller seepage normal. #'s 1, 3, and 4 lack normal seepage.

(P) Something loose in cockpit. (S) Something tightened in cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. (S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud. (S) Volume set to a more believable level.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield. (S) Live bugs on order.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold more produces a 200 fpm descent. (S) Cannot reproduce problems on ground.

(P) IFF inoperative. (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. (S) That's what they're there for.

Page 209 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»