Whatever jokes

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higher, mommy!
 
 
Why did the girl fall off the swing?

She had no arms.
you sinner!!!!!!!
 
 
A conscience does not prevent sin; it only prevents you from enjoying it.
scary stages of college
 
 
me figuring out that you only need a 54% to pass the final than you have actually spent studying.

3. The college drunk confronts you and says: "Don't you think you should get to work now?"

4. Your study schedule is based on the rationale that you "might" actually die before the test!

5. Your parents inquire about your grades and you sing the Cookie Monster song: "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me..."

6. Mom calls to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Get off my back, b*#%h!"

shoplifting
 
 
A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he sticks it down his pants.

Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, "Hey! Is that a record in your pants?"

The man replies, "Well, it may not be a record but I haven't heard any complaints."


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