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skeleton
 
 
What did the skeleton say before it ate?

"Bone-appetit."
the hippie and the spice rack
 
 
With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local casualty ward and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions his long-haired colleagues.

'So what was he doing then?' asks the physician. 'Acid? Cannabis?'

'Sort of,' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. 'But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.'

'And what was in that?' asks the doctor.

'Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.' says the hippie. 'There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.'

'Well, that explains it,' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. 'He is in a Korma.'

philosopher lightbulb
 
 
Q: How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Two: one to change the lightbulb, the other not to change the lightbulb!
shopping for toilet paper
 
 
Q: What did Shakespeare say while he was shopping for toilet paper?

A: 2-Ply or not 2-Ply? That is the question.

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