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pothead shopper
 
 
This pothead walks into a store and says to the clerk, ' How much for that TV in the window?'
And the clerk says, ' I don't sell to potheads.'
So the pothead says, ' I'll come back in a week and be sober.'
A week later he comes back and walks up to the clerk, 'How much for the TV in the window?'
The clerk says, 'I told you I don't sell to potheads!'
Then the pothead says, 'I'll come back in another week and I will be sober.'
The pothead comes back another week later and says to the store clerk, 'How much for the TV in the window?'
The clerk says, 'I'm not going to tell you again. I don't sell to potheads.'
The pothead says, 'How do you know if I am?'
And the store clerk goes, 'Because that isn't a TV in the window. It's a microwave.'
the skeleton
 
 
What do you call a horny skeleton?

A boner!
cubist poo
 
 
Who is the famous artist with brown fingers?

Pic-ass-o.

shaky arms hotel
 
 
A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed... just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed.  Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager.  The manager says he'll be right up.  The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.

"Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to the floor!"

So he lies down next to the wife.   Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?"

The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"


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