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the new 69
Due to the changes in the law, 69 is now 75.

There's a new tax on eating out...
i'll broke that stock, nudge, nudge
There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton of money off the stock market and decided to retire to a ranch in Montana. One day he was out in his front yard planting some flowers when he sees dirt flying up behind a truck. The truck pulls into his driveway and a famer gets out of his truck.
"Hi, my name is Bob. I'm your neighbor. I live about five miles away and I came to invite you to a party I am having tonight."
"What kind of a party is it?" asks the stockbroker.
"Oh, we're going to do a little dancing, a little fighting, a little eating, little drinking, and a little screwing."
"That sounds great,' said the stockbroker. "What should I wear?"
"I don't care," said Bob. "It's just gonna be the two of us."
What does Barbie use as a tampon?

A Tic-Tac.
big nostrils
Why do monsters have such big nostrils?

Because they have such big fingers.

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