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wanted: dead or alive
 
 
An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality.

"If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?"

"I'd have to say the living one."

make-a-wish foundation
 
 
After praying nonstop for eight years, God finally decided to grant a man three wishes.

"I wish for the coolest cars in the universe."

"Done."

"I wish for the most luxurious mansion in the universe."

"Done."

"And I wish for the best woman in the world."

So God sent him Mother Theresa.

little mermaid
 
 
Why did Ariel blush?

Because the sea weed!

empty cheeze whiz
 
 
Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheeze Whiz?

A: Cheeze Whuz.

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