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beatles
 
 
What would it take to reunite the Beatles?

Two more bullets.

rabbi and priest
 
 
A Rabbi and a Priest buy a car together and it's being stored at the Priest's house. One day the Rabbi goes over to use the car and he sees him sprinkling water on it. The Rabbi asked, 'What are you doing?' The Priest responded, 'I'm blessing the car.' So the Rabbi said 'Okay, since we're doing that....' and takes out a hacksaw and cuts two inches off the tail pipe.
airplane humor
 
 
An airplane pilot had had a particularly difficult flight and a rough landing.
The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a 'Thanks for riding Delta Airlines.' But, in light of his bad landing, the pilot had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?'

'Why no, Ma'am,' replied the pilot,' 'what is it?'

The little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?'

good news, bad news
 
 
One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an airplane. When he jumped there was good and bad news....
Good news: He had a parachute.
Bad News: It didnt work.
Good News: There was a haystack down below.
Bad news: There was a pitchfork in the haystack.
Good News: He missed the pitchfork.
Bad News: He missed the haystack.

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