GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS - Whatever jokes

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GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS
One sunny day a man decided to go jump from an airplane.  When he jumped there was good and bad news....
    Good news: He had a parachute. 
Bad News: It didnt work. 
Good News: There was a haystack down below. 
Bad news: There was a pitchfork in the haystack. 
Good News: He missed the pitchfork. 
Bad News: He missed the haystack.