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non profit atheism
 
 
Q: Why is atheism a non-profit religion?

A: They have no prophets!
through the desert on a man with no ears
 
 
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.

It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the first candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the first candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the second candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the second candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the third candidate.

"Yes. You're wearing contacts."

Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct. How did you know?"

"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears."

donut and loaf of bread
 
 
What did the donut say to the loaf of bread?

If I had that much dough, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole.
greed
 
 
There once was a man named Joe and he was talking to God and he asked, 'How much is a penny worth in heaven?'

God replied, 'One million dollars.'

Then Joe asked, 'How long is a minute in heaven?'

God said, 'One million years.'

So Joe asked for a penny and God said, 'Sure, just wait a minute.'


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