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pretzels
 
 
Two pretzels were walking down the street........one was a salted!
memory loss
 
 
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting at that park every sunny day for over 12 years... chatting, and enjoying each other's friendship.

One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me, dear, but I am embarrassed, after all these years. . .What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."

The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says, "How soon do you have to know?"

engineer vs. manager
 
 
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.

"I am" replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says "you must be in management."

"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

the leaning tower of pisa
 
 
Did you hear the Italian Government is going to put a clock on the Leaning Tower of Pisa? They figure what good is the inclination, if you don't have the time.

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