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the dentist
 
 
There once was this Vietnam vet who still occasionally had very vivid flasbacks. The man worked as a dentist and one day, he was doing a normal check-up, when a flashback hit him. He went crazy and repeatedly stabbed the patient. Needless to say, he was fired and needed another job.
The vet tried to think of places that wouldn't ask too many questions, so he walked down to the local McDonald's and applied for a position. They hired him and the first few weeks went well. But one day he was cooking a cheeseburger when another flashback hit him and he stabbed the hamburger into pulp. One of his co-workers turned and asked him with one question: “Are you a dentist?”
what do you call an elephant...
 
 
Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings?

A: Stuck

poach my egg
 
 
What did the egg say to the boiling water?

I just got laid and now you expect me to get hard!
through the desert on a man with no ears
 
 
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of money from his insurance company.

It was always his dream to own his own business, so he went out and purchased a small, but expanding computer firm. But he realized that he had no business knowledge at all, so he decided that he would have to hire someone to run the business. He picked out three top candidates, and interviewed each of them. The last question of the interview was always the same.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the first candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the first candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the second candidate.

"Yes. You have no ears."

He quickly eliminated the second candidate.

"Do you notice anything unusual about me?" he asked the third candidate.

"Yes. You're wearing contacts."

Thinking he had found the man for the job he said, "That's correct. How did you know?"

"You can't wear glasses if you don't have any freakin' ears."


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