Whatever jokes

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, 'May I borrow a highlighter?'
2. 'Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.'
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.'
5. 'Damn, this water is cold.'
6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
7. 'Now how did that get there?'
8. 'Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.'
9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,'Whoa! Easy boy!!'
10. ' Interesting....more sinkers than floaters'
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,'Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
12. 'C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
13. 'Boy, that sure looks like a maggot'
14. 'Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?'
15. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
16. Before you unroll toliet paper, conspicusly lay down your 'Cross-Dressers Anonymous' newsletter on the floor visiable to the adjacent stall.
17. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, 'Peek-a-boo!'
18. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing 'Born Free.'

A young man just got a new job running the register at a store. The old-timer said he would teach him how to sell things. "Watch how I do it" he said to the new hire as a man came up to the counter.

The customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter. The old-timer then said to him "You know when you plant those seeds and the grass starts growing you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut that grass." "You know," said the man, "I do need to get a new mower, sure I'll take one."

After the customer left, the new kid said, "I think I see what you mean. Let me handle this next one." A man then stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young salesman then said, "You know you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that."

The man then asked the young salesman, "What are you talking about?" "Well," he said, "It looks like your weekend's shot so you might as well cut the grass!"

On the night of the prom, a boy's girlfriend is changing upstairs. The boyfriend is waiting in the living room with the girlfriend's granpa and her dog Rover.

As the girlfriend is getting ready the boyfriend says to himself, 'Man I really gotta fart, I think I will let a little out.' So he does and the granpa yells 'ROVER!'

The boy thinks to himself, 'All right, now he thinks it's the dog. I think I will let a little more out.' So he does and the granpa yells again, 'ROVER!'

The boyfriend says to himself, 'All right, now he really thinks it's the dog. I think I will let the rest out.'

So he lets it rip and the granpa yells, 'Rover, get over here before that guy poops on you!'

How's a casino like a woman?

Liquor in the front, poker in the back!