Whatever jokes

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i need glasses. do i ever
 
 
"Doctor, doctor! I need glasses!"

"You certainly do, ma'am. This is a barber shop."

confucious say...people who can count
 
 
Confucious say, 'There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't.'
dreams about growin' up
 
 
One day, three boys were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up.

'I wanna be a singer so I can say 'Me, me, me, me, me.'

'I wanna be a chef so I can say knife and fork.'

'I wanna be a gambler so I can say you wanna make a bet.'

When they grew up they all got the jobs they wanted. One day, a policeman walked into a building and said,'Who killed this man?'

The singer said 'Me, me, me, me, me.'

'What did he kill him with?'

'Knife and fork,' said the chef.
'You're going to jail.'

'You wanna make a bet?' said the gambler.
a confused computer
 
 
A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it 'could not find the printer.' The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printer—but his computer still could not 'see' the printer.

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