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bill gates, super ego
 
 
One day, Saint Peter called up to Heaven Bill Clinton, Colin Powell, and Bill Gates. He said to them, 'I've called you here because you are the 3 most influential spokepersons in the world. Go back to Earth and tell everyone there is a God, but he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

So, Bill Clinton went back and said, 'Fellow Americans, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is there is a God, and the bad news is he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

Colin Powell went back and said, 'I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is there is a God and the good news is he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

Then, Bill Gates went down, gathered up all his computer buddies on the Internet and said, ' I have some good news. The first part of the good news is I've been voted one of the 3 most influential spokespersons in the world. The other good news is the Y2K problem is solved.'

lightbulbs vs pregnant women
 
 
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

skipped church lately?
 
 
One day this Preacher decided that he would skip church and go hunting.
When in the woods he came upon a bear. He started running, and he ran for a while until all of a sudden he tripped over a tree root. At this moment he was almost face to face with the bear. He dropped to his knees and said, 'Dear Lord, if there is one wish I would want for you to give me it would be to make this bear a Christian.'

And at that instant…the bear halted to a stop and dropped to his knees and said, 'Dear Lord, thank you for the food I am about to receive!'

the law of the jungle
 
 
Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes. His friend looked at him.

'Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?'

'I don't have to run faster than that tiger,' his friend replied. 'I just have to run faster than you.'


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