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that darn cat
 
 
There was this cat who loved to get drunk, who went to the bar on the other side of the tracks.

He stayed all night long and got so wasted he could barely stand up, much less walk.

The cat starts to stumble home, and when he came to the train tracks, he didn't notice a train coming down the tracks.

As he started to cross the tracks, the train zoomed by, and cut off his tail. The cat turned his head to see the damage, got his head stuck into the side of a speeding box car, and is instantly decapitated.

The moral of the story — don't lose your head over a piece of tail!

pre-paid plan
 
 
A guy goes to a house of prostitution. He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, and he gets undressed. She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarms rings!

She runs out of the room, with his $200 still in her hand. He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her. He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so he runs outside looking for her.

By this time, the firemen are there. He sees one of them and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?"

The fireman says, "No!"

The guy then says, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for."

blondes strike back
 
 
Why are blonde jokes so short?

So that brunettes can remember them.

le stinkers
 
 
Why do the French Smell?

So blind people can hate them too!


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