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dreams about growin' up
 
 
One day, three boys were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up.

'I wanna be a singer so I can say 'Me, me, me, me, me.'

'I wanna be a chef so I can say knife and fork.'

'I wanna be a gambler so I can say you wanna make a bet.'

When they grew up they all got the jobs they wanted. One day, a policeman walked into a building and said,'Who killed this man?'

The singer said 'Me, me, me, me, me.'

'What did he kill him with?'

'Knife and fork,' said the chef.
'You're going to jail.'

'You wanna make a bet?' said the gambler.
beethoven is dead
 
 
What's Beethoven doing now that he's dead?

He's de-composing.
"hey, nice tie'
 
 
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
"Hey, nice tie!" comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the bartender to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it.
"Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up but, again, the bartender is engaged elsewhere.
"Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him.
"It's not me, it's the complimentary peanuts."
the happy snowman
 
 
'Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

He saw the snowblower coming.'

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