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indian promiscuity
 
 
A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair.

"How did you get that feather?" the woman asked.

"I screw one squaw," the Indian said.

Then, another Indian came up to her. He had two feathers in his hair. "How did you get those feathers?" she asked.

"I screw two squaw," he said.

Then, an Indian with a headdress of feathers came up to her.

"My! How did you get all those feathers?" she asked.

"I screw two squaw, four squirrel, five rabbit, eight bear." he answered.

"Oh dear!" said the woman.

The Indian replied, "No deer, deer jump too high, balls get stuck in bush."

the new 69
 
 
Due to the changes in the law, 69 is now 75.

There's a new tax on eating out...
if i had a hammer
 
 
A man is in court for murder and the judge says, 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.'

Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'You bastard.'

The judge continues, 'You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer.'

Again the voice at the back of the court says, 'You bastard.'

The judge says, 'Now, we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt! What is the problem?'

The man at the back of the court says, 'Fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!'
mr. phillard's twins
 
 
One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard's idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing above him.

"Mr. Phillard," the doctor said, "you are in the recovery room. Don't worry, your wife is fine and she had twins, a boy and a girl. Because you were unconscious and your wife was still under anaesthesia, she requested that your brother Bill name the kids."

"What! My brother, the idiot! I can't believe you let him! What did he name them?"

"He named your daughter Denise."

"Hey, not bad! I underestimated my brother. What did he name my son?"

"He named your son Denephew."


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