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little johnny's time of the month
 
 
Little Johnny walks into a pharmacy and brings a box of tampons to the register.

The cashier looks at the boy and says, "Hi. Are these for your mom?"

Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, "Umm, no."

The cashier says, "Oh. Then they're for your sister?"

Little Johnny says, "uh-unh."

The cashier, now a bit curious, says, "Oh. Then they must be for your granny!"

Little Johnny says, "Nope."

The cashier is now really confused. Finally she asks, "Well, what are you going to do with them?"

Little Johnny says, "Well, I'm not sure yet. But on TV, they said if I buy these I can go fishing and swimming and horseback riding!"

the law of the jungle
 
 
Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger who looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nikes. His friend looked at him.

'Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?'

'I don't have to run faster than that tiger,' his friend replied. 'I just have to run faster than you.'

i'm a photographer, not a...
 
 
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "And make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"

The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

ghetto shopping
 
 
You know you're ghetto when you carry food stamps in a money clip!

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