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the trouble with dirty old men
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)."

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

The old man says, "I can't remmber where I live."

poor boy's christmas
What does a poor boy get for Christmas?

Your bike!

toot toot beep beep
What do you call a fart?

A turd honking for the right of way.

escaped midget!
What do you call a psychic midget who just escaped from jail?

A small medium at large!

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