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the four ghosts of the white house
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away...

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight...

The third night sleep still does not come for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist...

Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"

Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."
don't make me bible belt you
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.

"I'll make a deal with you," said his father. "You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut, and then we'll talk."

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car.

"Son, I'm real proud of you. You've brought your grades up and you've studied your Bible, but you didn't get hair cut!"

"You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."

"Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"

the three nuns
Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven. The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, 'Oh that's easy, Adam!' Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

The second nun is asked 'Who was the first woman on earth?' she says, 'That's easy, Eve!' Lights flash and the gates open.

The Third nun is asked, 'What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?' The nun is puzzled and can't figure it out, so she says, 'That's a hard one.' Lights flash up and the pearly gates open.
lost & found
One day, on a notice board, a message was written:

'A parker pn lost if found plz return to me' The next day, another notice was put up:

'If anybody finds an E plz add it to the spelling of PEN'

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