Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 138

Whatever


new year's suckers
 
 
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Fang Syne!

in-law vs outlaw
 
 
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?

Outlaws are wanted.

grosser than gross - pudding
 
 
What's grosser than gross?

Dreaming about eating chocolate pudding, and waking up with a spoon in your butt.

satanic starbucks
 
 
A man died and went to straight down to hell. The devil greeted him and gave him a guided tour of the place. He told the man that there were three rooms he could chose from in which to spend eternity.

The first room was full of flames so hot the man couldn't even breathe. He told the devil that there was no way he was choosing that room. So they moved on.

The next room they came to was full of people who were being beaten and tortured. It looked so painful the man could not watch. He told the devil he definitely didn't want that room, and they moved on.

The last room they came to was full of people who were just sitting around drinking coffee and relaxing. The only thing was that they were standing around in about two feet of poop. The man looked for a while and then told the devil this room would be all right.

The devil gestured for him to sit down and the man took a seat. He did, sipped his coffee and felt really pleased with his choice. After a few minutes, a voice came over the loudspeaker and said, "Break time is over! Time for another 10,000 push-ups!"


Page 139 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»