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that's not what i meant
 
 
Jeremy and Kris are walking down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replied, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
i didn't do it!
 
 
Two robbers are talking in their shared jail cell:

'What are you in for?'

'I'm here for something I did not do!'

'So you are innocent? What did you do?'

'I did not run fast enough!'
mixed breed
 
 
What do you get if you breed a pitbull terrier with Lassie?

A dog that will chew your arm off but then run for help!

the tomato seller!
 
 
A man from another country came to the U.S. and learned three phrases.
1.Only fifty cents
2. Very, very fresh
3. Not today, maybe tomorrow.

A lady came to his tomato stand and said 'how much are these tomatos?' The man said 'Only fifty cents'. Than she asked 'are they fresh?' The man said 'Very, very fresh'. She then asked, 'Can I buy one?' The man said, 'Not today maybe tomorrow.'

A thief comes and said 'I'm a thief how much money do you have?' The Tomato Seller said, 'Only fifty cents'. The thief said, 'Are you being fresh with me?' The Tomato seller said 'Very, very fresh'. The thief said 'Alright, that's it. I'm going to shoot you.' The Tomato Seller said 'Not today maybe tomorrow!"

The moral to this story is: If you go to a foreign country, learn as much of the language as possible!'


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