Whatever jokes

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men with no arms or legs
 
 
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.

On the wall? Art.

On the floor? Matt.

banana
 
 
Q: What do you call two banana peels?

A: A pair of slippers.
krazy library fun
 
 
1. See how many teenage boys you can gather by exclaiming,'Wow, they carry Playboy?!'
2. Make copies of every page in the Dictionary and if anyone asks for a reason, tell them you are a vacuum salesman
3. Make sheep noises by the reference desk
4. Let the librarian know that you are 'only in it for the money,' then smile at them
5. Arrange the magazines by their sex content
6. Give the librarian a list of Hungarian Books to find
7. Ask someone if they've ever read 'My Life as a Butt-Hair Stylist'
8. Scream
9. Set up a dome tent in the kids section and announce that the General has arrived
10. Constantly stare at someone using the internet and when they look at you, ask them if they would like Book Insurance
big red
 
 
A Russian couple were walking down a street in Moscow one night when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No that felt like snow to me, dear," she replied.

"No I'm sure it was just rain," he said. They were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist party official walking towards them.

"Let's not fight about it," the man said. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether its officially raining or snowing." As the man approached the husband said:

"Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course" he replied and walked on. But the woman insisted.

"I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man quietly said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."


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