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the genie and the wannabe
A man was walking down the beach when he found a bottle. He picks up the bottle, and a genie comes out. The genie says that he will grant him one wish. “Well, I'd like to go to Hawaii. But, I'm afraid of flying and I don't like the idea of going in a boat. So, I wish there was a bridge from here to Hawaii,” says the man.
“That's impossible!” says the genie, “You'll have to make another wish.”
“Ok, I want to know how to be a sucessful internet executive.” says the man.
“How many lanes do you want on that bridge? asks the genie.
the engineer and the bike
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one asked, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

10 reasons not to live in connecticut
10) You have to explain to most foreigners that you either live close to New York or Boston
9) Having to live next to New York
8) The two most famous people to come out of Connecticut were a con man who ran a freak show and a man who was the primary cause of the Civil War
7) Because you have no point in being there other than during the fall
6) You can either be a pansy and support the Yankees or a masochist and support the Red Sox
5) You get to be associated primarily with New York and New Jersey
4) You get to hear New Yorkers compliment you for the peace and quiet
3) People from other states think you have a ten foot pole shoved up your ass
2) People from other states are usually right
1) It's Connecticut
why don't witches wear panties?
Why don't witches wear panties?
Better grip on the broom.

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