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bellboy
 
 
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.

"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."

some examples of murphy's law
 
 
Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
  1. The spouse who snores the loudest always falls asleep first.
  2. The product you are most embarrassed to be buying must be price-checked over the P.A.
  3. The heavier the load, and the farther you must carry it, the more your nose itches.
  4. The original will be found when a replacement is bought.
  5. When you have a deadline, the printer always runs out of toner.
  6. When you have to get up early, the 'snooze' alarm is ten times longer than normal.
  7. Technical instructions are in three languages: Spanish, French, and Geek.
  8. Any Disney movie will be boycotted by some religious union with nothing better to do.
  9. After typing a multi-page report, Windows will perform an 'illegal operation' and erase your work.
  10. Traffic is only bad on days that end in 'y.'
west virginian women
 
 
What do you call 32 West Virginian women in one room?

A full set of teeth.
the day after thanksgiving
 
 
It was the day after Thanksgiving and all thru the house
No one was stirring not even my spouse.
With credit cards all in a neat little row
In the order of all the places I'd go
With cash in my pocket, the keys in my hand,
I grabbed all the cards and out the door I ran.


Out to the garage and into my car,
The gas gauge on empty I wouldn't get far.
I rush to the gas station to fill up with gas.
Thank God for credit cards; I was out in a flash.

On K-mart, on Target, on Kohls and more.
On Pennys, on Sears, must hit every store.
I rush in the stores with a twinkle in my eye
Thinking of all the things i could buy.

By now my credit cards were getting quite warm
But into the next store I quickly did storm.
Buying up everything within my sight
Grabbing that doll and starting a fight.
Without that doll in my hand
Out on the sidewalk I did land.
As I walked away and looked in the store
I was plum tuckered out and couldn't shop anymore.

With gifts in the car all stacked up high
I drive by the stores and the merchants wave 'bye'.
With presents stacked way up to the ceiling
my spouse was ranting, raving and squealing.
We're broke he said cuz of all your spending
Thank God this day is finally ending.
With presnts to wrap and scotch tape to find
I knew this job was gonna be all mine.

The day finally ended and i was struck with great fear
Thinking of how I'd do it all over next year.

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