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soccer blonde
 
 
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

what do you call a woman...
 
 
What do you call a woman rolling around on the ground with no legs.

Peggy

blank willow
 
 
A man was walking through the forest, when he suddenly has an urge to take a piss. He came upon a field of buttercups. Thinking no one was looking, he immediately relieved himself all over the buttercups. Unbeknownst to him, Mother Nature saw the whole thing and became furious. "How dare you!", she cried, "Just for that, you won't get any butter for a whole year!" "Oh Mother Nature!", the man cried, "In that case, thank God I didn't piss all over the pussywillows!"
firetruck
 
 
A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. The boy is wearing a firefighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.

The firefighter says, "Hey little partner, what are you doing?"

The little boy says, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck."

The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. That's sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter says with admiration.

"Thanks mister," the boy says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar, and to the cat's testicles. The boy says, "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren."


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