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one-legged hop
 
 
Why did the bunny hop around on one leg?

Because the other one was on a key chain.

bad male drivers
 
 
Bob and Bill are driving down the road going about 85 mph. Up comes a red light and Bob goes right through it.

Bill turnes to Bob and says, 'What the hell are you doing?'

Bob says, 'Don't worry—my brother does it all the time.' So on they go, and — bam! — 85 mph through another red light!

Again Bob says, 'Don't worry, my brother does it all the time!' Then they're driving along and coming up on another red light, and as soon as it turns green, Bob jams on the breaks and skids to a stop!

Bill looks over and says, 'What the hell is wrong with you, you jerk? The damn light is green. Why did you stop?'

Bob says, 'My brother may have been coming the other way!'

what a smart gorilla
 
 
A gorilla walks into a bar. The bartender comes up to him and asks him what he wants. 'A scotch on the rocks, please.' He then lays a 10 dollar bill on the bar. The bartender takes the money and goes to fix his drink. He thinks to himself, 'Hey, this is a gorilla, he doesn't know about the prices of drinks.' and takes 15 cents back. He sets the drink and the money on the bar. Another bartender asks the first bartender about the gorilla and he says: 'Yeah, he's nice. Go talk to him.' The second bartender goes to the gorilla and strikes up a conversation. 'Hey there. Ya know, we don't get too many gorillas in here.' 'Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back.'
yankees -vs- red sox
 
 
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.
"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"
"The Red Sox."
"Why's that?"
"Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too."
"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"
"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"

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