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prisoner's letterwriting
 
 
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden."

The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

widows98
 
 
"Do you ever get horny?" said one widow to the other.
"Sure."
"What do you do about it?"
"I suck on a lifesaver."
"Oh. That works?"
"Yep."
"What beach do you go to?"
the naming of jesus christ
 
 
The three wise men went to visit Jesus right after he was born. One wise man was extremely tall. He hit his head on the top of the door frame and said, 'Jesus Christ!' Joseph looked at Mary and said 'Write that down -- that's better than Clyde!'
the pig with the wooden leg
 
 
There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.

The farmer said, 'That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.'

'So why does he have a wooden leg?' the tourist asked.

'Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up.'

'So,' the tourist asked again, 'why does that pig have a wooden leg?'

'Well, a pig that brave you can't eat all at once!'


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