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talk to me in frogspeak, do
 
 
A grandson ran up to his grandfather and asked him he could talk like a frog. "Of course not," said the grandfather. A few minutes later, his granddaughter ran up and asked him the same thing. "No, of course not. Why are you both asking me this?" The granddaughter looked up at him and said "Dad said that when you croak, we can go to Disneyland."
if i had a hammer
 
 
A man is in court for murder and the judge says, 'You are charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.'

Then a voice at the back of the court says, 'You bastard.'

The judge continues, 'You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a hammer.'

Again the voice at the back of the court says, 'You bastard.'

The judge says, 'Now, we cannot have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you with contempt! What is the problem?'

The man at the back of the court says, 'Fifteen years I lived next door to that bastard and everytime I asked to borrow a hammer he said he never had one!'
not so saved by the bell
 
 
The preacher was very distraught after the death of the bell ringer the day before and didn't know what to do. He began the search for another bell ringer. Many people tried, but none could match the talents of the bell ringer he had before.

Finally, when the priest had all but given up hope, an armless man came to apply for the job. The priest was ready to turn him away, how could an armless man do justice to the bells of his church?

The man pleaded with him and told him he was the brother of the man who died the day before. When the priest heard that he decided that out of respect for his brother he must allow him to try.

The man thanked the priest and began to throw his shoulder into the bell. The priest could hardly believe the wonderful tones coming from the bells. As the priest was about to appoint him the bell ringer the man ran once more for the bell. But this time he tripped and fell to his death on the street.

The priest ran out and a large crowd had gathered. Someone shouted 'Does any one know this man? '

To which the priest replied, ' I don't know his name but he's a dead ringer for his brother'

how annoy your roommate
 
 
tantly and talk and laugh with them.

3. When he/she says, "Is it hot out?" Look puzzled and put on your winter jacket.

4. Pick up the phone even when it is not ringing.

5. Stare at the mirror and start laughing at it. Hey, laugh really hard ok?

6.Talk to the goldfish about fat cats lurking around. Then laugh aloud, happy that you have scared it.

7. Pretend to be angry and bang the table hard AND loud. Later apologise for the hurt and grief caused to the table. Be sincere and write a letter of apology to the table.

8. Ask him/her the time constantly. Every 5 minutes. All night too.

9. Roll around the room and behave like a cat. Lick yourself and scratch the floor. Play with a ball of yarn and eat only fish. Meow loudly at him/her when he/she talks to you.

10. Buy underpants for him/her and say, "Now we can share!"


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