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when can i get that haircut?
 
 

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "how long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "how long before I can get a haircut? The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says, "About two hours." The guy leaves.

A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "about an hour and a half." The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes". In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looked up and said, "to your house."

e.t.'s eyes wide shut
 
 
Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill!

honeymoon
 
 
An elderly couple decided to celebrate their 50th anniversary in the same hotel and city where they spent their honeymoon. Before the act, he excused himself and went to loo and after a while came out laughing loudly.
'On our first night," the woman said, "you did the same thing and came out laughing. At the time, I was too embarrassed to ask what you were laughing about. Can you explain?"
'On that night while urinating, I made the roof wet. Today my shoes are wet."
spock's discovery
 
 
What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captain's log!


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