Whatever jokes

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californians & granola bars
How is California like a Granola bar?

They both contain fruits, nuts and flakes!
engineers and a glass of water
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

bah dum bump!
What do you call a person who likes to hang around with musicians?

A drummer.
jolly santa
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly?

A: Because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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