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wood i?
 
 
These two friends are about to go to a club. One of them has a wooden eye. He said 'If someone says something about my eye, i'm gonna snap.' They get there, and he asks a girl to dance. She says, 'Would I?'
dictaphone
 
 
A secretary goes into her boss' office and asks, "May I use your dictaphone?"

He replies, "No. Use your finger like everyone else."

10 ways to tell you're from new hampshire
 
 
10) You married your cousin's brother's wife
9) Your only belief is “Live Free or Die.”
8) You think Massachusetts should be Taxachusetts (when you are actually paying more).
7) You walk around with cow dung on your shoe.
6) You're depressed because Massachusetts laughs constantly at your state.
5) Your music involves knee slapping, spoon smacking and banjo playing.
4) You travel all the way to Connecticut to gamble.
3) Your barn is bigger than your house
2) You walk around with a “Dumb IQ” card (you actually do).
1) You can't drive on the highways, rotaries, four-way stops, rotaries or anything more complex than a dirt road.
superbowl!
 
 
What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl?

The Dallas Cowboys

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