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air head on a beer
Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?

She heard the drinks were on the house.

top 10 benefits of being a woman
  1. Women got off the Titanic first.
  2. Women can scare bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
  3. Women can be groupies. Men groupies are called "stalkers."
  4. Women can cry and get off speeding tickets.
  5. Taxis stop for women.
  6. Free dinners, free drinks, free movies. Do the math.
  7. A new lipstick can give a woman a whole new lease on life.
  8. No one has to know if a woman forgets to shave.
  9. Women can congratulate their teammates without ever touching their rear.
  10. Women never regret piercing their ears.
stupid grandpa. don't you get it?
A grandpa walks into a grandson's apartment and sees a condom on the table. "What's this!?" demands the grandfather.

"It's a condom," replies the grandson sheepishly.

"What do you use it for?" asks Gramps.

The grandson is surprised that his grandpa really doesn't know what a condom is, and replies, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain."

To his surprise his grandpa says, "That's a great idea," and goes off to the drug store. He asks the pharmacist for a condom.

"What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist.

"Oh, big enough to fit a camel."

private baby
Which branch of the military do babies join?

The infantry!

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