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tax payer dollars at work
Two guys were working for the city. One would furiously dig a hole, then the other would come behind him and quickly fill the hole. They were drenched in sweat.

A man watching from the sidewalk couldn't believe how hard they were working, but also couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he said:

"I'm confused. You dig a hole and then your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!"

The digger leaned on his shovel and replied, "Oh yeah, it must look funny. You see, the lazy jackass who plants the trees is sick again today!"

set me on fire
What do you call a doll on fire?

A Barbie-Q!

cow tornado
Q: What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A: A milk shake.
big red
A Russian couple were walking down a street in Moscow one night when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No that felt like snow to me, dear," she replied.

"No I'm sure it was just rain," he said. They were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist party official walking towards them.

"Let's not fight about it," the man said. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether its officially raining or snowing." As the man approached the husband said:

"Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course" he replied and walked on. But the woman insisted.

"I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man quietly said, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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