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Whatever


you so ugly
 
 
You so ugly, your mama put you next to a piece of crap and said "Twins!"
lesbians in a canoe
 
 
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?

Fur traders.

top 10 ways to get rid of telemarketers
 
 
10) Pretend you don't speak English.

9) Say “Hold on,” then scream to a nonexistent person: “If you try to take the knife out, it'll just hurt worse!”

8) Burst into tears when money is mentioned.

7) Ask if the deal is good for all your personalities.

6) Tell them you'll accept their offer if they can guess your color of underwear.

5) Repeat everything they say in the form of a question.
4) As soon as they identify themselves, say, “You guys are still in business? Well, I guess the bomb has another 30 seconds.”

3) Tell them the restraining order applies to phone calls as well as physical distance.

2) Mutter: “Aww, damn. Not another one. The last Jehovah's Witness almost got me the death penalty.”

1) HANG UP THE DARN PHONE!
aggie nativity
 
 
How come Texas A&M couldn't put on a nativity scene?

Because they couldnt find three wise men or a virgin!

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