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premarital test
 
 
A guy decides it's time he got married. He gives each of his current girlfriends $1,000. One spends $200 on clothes and puts $800 in the bank. Second spends $800 on clothes and puts $200 in the bank. Third puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one did he marry? The one with the big boobs.
two knives
 
 
Why did the two knives go to the dance together?

Because they both looked sharp!
a 90-year-old man said to his doctor
 
 
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
the three nuns
 
 
Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven. The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, 'Oh that's easy, Adam!' Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

The second nun is asked 'Who was the first woman on earth?' she says, 'That's easy, Eve!' Lights flash and the gates open.

The Third nun is asked, 'What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?' The nun is puzzled and can't figure it out, so she says, 'That's a hard one.' Lights flash up and the pearly gates open.

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