Whatever jokes

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poach my egg
 
 
What did the egg say to the boiling water?

I just got laid and now you expect me to get hard!
pearly gates
 
 
Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died.

"I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all over the house and decided to check the balcony. I saw some fingers so I took a hammer and hit his fingers but a bush broke his fall so I took my fridge and threw it on him. But I felt so bad for killing a man that I killed myself."

"I was painting on the 37th floor, when I slipped and fell. I was holding on to a balcony, when some guy hit me on the fingers with a hammer so I fell, and then dropped a fridge on me."

"I was hiding innnocently in the fridge."

late cannibal
 
 
Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner?

His wife gave him the cold shoulder!

satan claus
 
 
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.

One said to the other, 'I'm really scared about all this Satan stuff?'

The other boy replied, 'Don't worry! You know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad again."


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